爱情是个冷笑话下载
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发布时间：2022-06-02 10:58
共4个回答
热心网友
时间：2023-10-16 12:31
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《爱情是个冷笑话》的作者是荞麦。一个27岁的女人，经济独立，头脑理智，适度沧桑。却搞不定前男友，搞不定现男友，甚至搞不定一个……30岁的处男。
热心网友
时间：2023-10-16 12:31
突然无辜被人狠踩了一脚的新鞋，火锅里守了很久却被人不经意的夹走的肉，被理发师理坏了还得给钱的发型，走了很远却发现关门了的店铺，编辑了很久却没有人转的微博，这些怨气可以冲破天际。
怀着激动的心情去查四级分数，结果竟然没过！吓得我突然从梦中惊醒，庆幸这只是一场梦！这时有个人向我走来:"这位同学，四级考试结束，请交卷..."
永远都不为自己选择的道路而后悔。不管是十年前，还是现在。唯一能做的，只是义无反顾地走下去。
异地恋，男孩说还有81天我就回来了，于是给女朋友买了81种零食，说：你每天吃一个，吃完了我就回来了。后来，男孩为了给女孩一个惊喜，第三天就回来了，女孩哭着说：你果然没有骗我，我刚吃完你就回来了……
妹妹从小只爱黏着哥哥.哥哥送她和自已同款的手机,妹妹把生日设为了密码.有一天在打闹时她抢走了哥哥手机.手机上了锁.她下意识把自己生日输了进去.锁竟然开了,她羞红着转向哥哥:“哥...该不会...但...不可以啦...你是我哥啊!”哥哥一把抢过手机:“小说看傻了?玛丽苏?我两是双胞胎傻*!”
如果没有你，我仍旧可以生活得很好，但我却愿意跟你在一起，这才是爱情。”今天看到最对的话。——爱情的本质，就是情愿。情愿为你做很多事，情愿放下一切为你，情愿妥协，情愿再风雨兼程也要共度一生
有很多人似乎已经习惯了大众对肉呼呼身材的嗤之以鼻和偏见，索性把化妆打扮买衣服的时间都用在了吃上，孤僻自闭，一种循环，越来越胖。其实你们完全可以充满自信并且快乐的生活，试着放下手中的零食，画上精致的妆容，去大街上商场里挑选几件漂亮的衣服穿吧，你会发现每件衣服自己都穿不下
所谓“懂事”，就是违背自己的意愿做一些讨好的事，让一些在乎的人安心。除了委屈自己换来一句懂事，辛苦到最后什么也得不到。
在空间爱墙上看到的，笑尿老子了啊，现在的00后们都喜欢这样表达爱意了么？？狗屎妹妹，请你跟狗屎在一起幸福一辈子好么！话说，我也好想有一个这样的狗屎妹妹~~以后你和你家狗屎接吻的时候，岂不是在——吃！狗！屎！
一样是又懒又谗又蠢，看看熊猫和猪的评价差多少，你就知道长相有多重要了...
热心网友
时间：2023-10-16 12:32
1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指，但竟没有一个同学注意到，令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候，她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀，这里真热呀，我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。” 2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了？” “是啊！”女佣回道。 “亏你还说得出口，你还没有结婚，难道不觉得害羞吗？”女主人再次训。 “我为什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗？” “可是我怀的是我丈夫的！”女主人生气地反驳。 “我也是啊！”女佣高兴地附和。 3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶， 翻了，一头栽在路旁。*赶到： *甲：好严重的车祸。 *乙：是啊，脑袋都撞到后面去了。 *甲：嗯，还有呼吸，我们帮他把头转回来吧。 *乙：好.....一、二使劲，转回来了。 *甲：嗯，没有呼吸了....... 4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上，因为时常发生车祸，所以常常有一些鬼故事发生，有一天晚上，有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩，身着白衣的女人向他招手，因为这个司机没有见过鬼，所以大胆的停下来让她上车了，这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人，开着开着，突然司机发现那个女人不见了！司机吓了一大跳，赶紧踩了一个刹车！只见那个女人满脸是血，表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊！我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……” 5、一个病人去看病，医生检查了他，皱着眉头说：“您病得太严重了，恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久？” 医生：“十……” 病人着急地问：“十什么？十年？？十个月？？？十天？？？？？” 医生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……” 6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗？” 学生：“能，他们都死了。” 7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱，蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子说：“*，打针的。”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐，我是中药局搓药丸的…” 8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多，光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀！都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快！” 9、一个人想出国考察，但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示，老总给了他一张字条，上面写着：“Go ahead”。 那人想：“Go ahead=前进，老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。 一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊？？”他说：“我准备出国考察，老总批准了，给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准！！咱老总的英语水平你还不知道，他这是在说去个头！” 10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言，叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑，他试着喊了一声感谢上帝，那匹马立刻飞奔起来，越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然，马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………”
我打了很久，请采纳
1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"
I played for a long time, please
热心网友
时间：2023-10-16 12:32
